i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize