meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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