Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
