Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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