Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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