I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
