I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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