I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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