I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize