Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
