i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
