Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
