we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
