Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
