You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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