You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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