I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
