What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Holy shit dude........stairs
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