Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
