We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
