this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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