you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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