He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
