Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
