Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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