I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
