i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He felt like a one man threesome
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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