I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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