Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize