I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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