the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
