You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
