i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
