you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize