I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
