I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
