i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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