I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize