8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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