he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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