What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize