Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
