people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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