Me. At least after what I've been through.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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