I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
