You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
