All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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