so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
