Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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