It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
