"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
