well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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