Operation Purity has been aborted
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
