i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
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