he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
