Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
