There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
