there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Be still, my beating vagina.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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