We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
