I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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