So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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