so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I look better un-naked...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
